Tier the guest list A/B/C: but Tier B's invitations can't go out too late

Writing the list and finding it over budget is the norm (see item 33 of the checklist). Rather than cutting people outright, tier them.

The three tiers

• Tier A: must invite. The people who have to be there regardless
• Tier B: invite if there's room. When someone in Tier A declines, they move up
• Tier C: announcement only. Told afterwards, not invited

The advantage is that you buy back space from the actual acceptance rate rather than offending people at the start.

The timing trap in Tier B

Tier B invitations wait for Tier A's RSVPs, and can't go out too late.

❗ An invitation arriving 3 weeks before the wedding tells the recipient they were a backup.

That's the biggest risk with tiering: budget saved in exchange for an awkwardness the other person remembers.

So get the timing right:

• Tier A invitations: 6–8 weeks before (see item 37 of the checklist)
• Tier A RSVPs come in gradually
• Tier B invitations: 5–6 weeks beforeYou can't wait until every RSVP comes in.

Which means estimating how many places will open up while Tier A is still replying, and sending Tier B on that basis. It takes a little nerve, but it beats sending late.

A better approach: tier via Save the Dates

Save the Dates go only to Tier A (see item 36 of the checklist), because sending one is a commitment and obliges an invitation.

Tier B doesn't get a save the date, which makes the timing easier. With no expectations set, receiving an invitation later won't feel strange.

Social pressure in Chinese families

Tiering is much harder within Chinese social structures than at an American wedding, because:

• The line between relatives is hard to drawInvite one aunt and you have to invite the other, or relatives will talk.
• Parents have their own listYou might not know these people, but your parents owe social obligations to them.
• Anyone who gave a red envelope gets reciprocatedHaving attended their wedding, it's very hard not to invite them.

How to handle it in practice:

1. Separate out the parents' list and give them a clear quota ("you can invite 30"). Within that quota they set the order and you don't intervene
2. Tier by group, not by individualFor example, put "Dad's colleagues" in Tier B as a block, rather than picking a few people out.
3. Put reciprocal obligations in Tier ASocial debts always have to be repaid; don't skimp here.

The first is especially effective, because it hands the "who gets cut" problem back to the person who understands the relationships.

Handling Tier C

Send an announcement card or message after the wedding with a photo or two. This isn't a brush-off. For many people, knowing you got married and seeing the photos is enough.

In one line

Tier B goes out 5–6 weeks before, because later tells them what they are; and give parents a quota rather than cutting their list for them.

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