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The couple are the two people most likely not to eat all day
One timeline on the wedding day is for the vendors (see item 39 of the checklist). There should be another one for the two of you, and it only has to handle two things.
Deliberately schedule two 15-minute blanks
- One after the ceremony, just the two of you
- One during the reception, for eating
It sounds minor, but unless it's written into the timeline, it just won't happen, because every minute of that day will be filled with something else.
Why the time alone after the ceremony matters
The moment the ceremony ends you'll be pulled into group photos, surrounded by well-wishers, and reminded by the coordinator about the next segment. By the time you come up for air, half the wedding is over.
Those fifteen minutes are the only chance you'll have to absorb, alone, that you just got married.
Many photographers suggest this themselves. They've heard too many couples say afterwards that the day passed like a dream they can't remember. Mention it to your coordinator and they'll keep people away.
Why you'll go hungry
The timeline goes:
- Morning: hair and makeup for 2–3 hours, too nervous to eat (see item 51 of the checklist)
- Midday: changing, photos, the first look
- The ceremony
- Group photos for 60–90 minutes (if you skipped the first look, see item 104 of the checklist)
- The reception: you're toasting, being photographed, talking to every table
Nowhere in that sequence is there a moment where the couple sit down and eat. Meanwhile the food is served on schedule, and your plate goes cold and gets cleared.
The fix
Ask the coordinator in advance to set a plate aside in the green room.
One sentence handles it, but if you don't say it, it won't happen. Remember to specify keeping the food "in the green room" rather than "at the head table", because you won't get back to the head table to eat it anyway.
Also put crumb-free protein bars and straws in the emergency kit (a straw means drinking without ruining lipstick, see item 50 of the checklist).
The extra drain at a Chinese wedding
If there's table-by-table toastingThis segment is physically exhausting. Ten tables means ten rounds of small talk and photos, and it is usually scheduled after you have gone hours without food.
Two practical suggestions:
- Eat before the toastsRemember to put that fifteen minute break before the toasts, not after.
- Toast with tea or a non-alcoholic drinkNobody will really mind, and you need to stay clear headed to the end (see item 109 of the checklist).
Hand over your phones
You shouldn't be looking at phones that day, so hand them straight to the lead groomsman or maid of honor. The group chat for that day is for the helpers, not for you (see item 116 of the checklist).
In one line
Write the two fifteen-minute blanks into the timeline, ask the coordinator for a plate in the green room, and eat before the toasts.