The rehearsal is the most skipped step and the one most worth doing: an unrehearsed processional will be chaos

The rehearsal happens the day before and usually takes under an hour. It's the step in the whole process most likely to be skipped and highest in value.

Why it gets skipped

That is because everyone is busy the day before: out-of-town relatives have just arrived, plenty of details remain unconfirmed, and a rehearsal happens to look like "just walking through it."

But an unrehearsed processional will be chaotic: who walks with whom, how far apart, where to stop, which way to face once stopped. You don't know any of it until you've practiced, and getting it wrong on the day is visible to every guest.

What to rehearse

• PositionsWhere everyone starts and where they end up.
• Processional order and paceA wrong order is glaringly obvious, while walking too fast is the most common issue (nervous people always walk fast).
• Standing positionsWhere everyone stands during the ceremony, and who stands beside the couple.
• Run the vow sequence onceYou don't actually need to recite the vows; it is mainly running through the flow of "the officiant says X → who does what."

Who attends

• The wedding party
• Both sets of parents
• The officiant
• Any relatives in the processional

If you've altered the standard American processional order (both sets of parents walking together, very common in Chinese families), rehearsing matters moreBecause the officiant's and coordinator's run sheets are written to the standard version (see item 102 of the checklist).

Two extra segments to rehearse at a Chinese wedding

1. The tea ceremony

Elders' seating order, who goes first, where the cushions go, who collects the red envelopes, improvising all of that on the day will be total chaos (see item 43 of the checklist).

If the tea ceremony sits in the cocktail hour, also rehearse moving from the main space to that room and back.

2. The ring handover

When the best man produces the rings and who he gives them to. That action falls at the ceremony's peak, and fumbling it is deeply awkward (see item 47 of the checklist).

The cost of the rehearsal dinner

Fix the headcount in advance; this is the cost of an extra meal.

American tradition has the groom's family host the rehearsal dinner, but these days the couple usually arrange it. Note:

• People who attend the rehearsal generally expect to stay for dinner
• Relatives who travelled far have already arrived, and not inviting them is awkward
• So the actual headcount often exceeds the rehearsal list

Put this meal in the budget (see item 40 of the checklist) rather than treating it as an incidental expense.

Something to do while you're there

The rehearsal is a great time to hand the day-of document folder to whoever's responsible (see item 126 of the checklist), as everyone's present and it's needed tomorrow.

In one line

An hour of rehearsal buys away the chaos; and if you've changed the processional or you're having a tea ceremony, it's not skippable.

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